jobs i may have to resort to doing...

zoo keeper, shit scooper.


bank robber


rpg launcher


nugget-maker


pimp

fck you too.

Beautiful Day - U2

old people are stealing all the jobs!

don't ask why, but i decided to see what the AARP had to say in regards to employment tips for the broke ass elderly.

to my dismay, the site had generated a shit ton of results, a lot of the postings by companies that hadn't even posted the positions on their own websites!!!!!! i compared these listings to that of which was generated on careerbuilder.com and jobster.com and they were nowhere to be seen ....

are old people hogging all the jobs? even ones like this????
- seasonal amusement park positions: sorry, but i don't know if i could deal with a beat old lady strapping my seatbelt on and then wandering off to operate some intricate hydraulic system. NO THANK YOU.





i think these companies have sum splanin to do.

tsk tsk. wtf?

movies to watch that will make your ass feel better about your life sucking.

boys don't cry
this movie makes you extremely glad that you aren't a hermaphrodite living in nebraska, wyoming, kansas, where ever.



city of god
crazy ass brazilians running around blowing peoples brains out over a lil bit of blow and shit.



the pursuit of happyness
poor will smith. his wife left him, he's homeless, he gets hit by a car, his son hates him, he's an unpaid intern. can it get any worse???



armageddon
this can go either way. it can make you feel like there are bigger problems in the world other than your broke ass not being able to afford unlimited text messaging OR it can make you feel great about the possibility of everyone being royally fucked like the dinosaurs were.

don't be embarrassed

COUPONS.

when you're a broke ass, there is no shame in clipping and holding up the line at the supermarket. the people that work there are broke asses too. this shit helps, trust me.

here are links to ones you can get online, but the GOOD ones are usually in that pile of junk you get in the mail once a week.

safeway

lucky's

longs

CHEAP FOOD.

cabbage @ $0.29/lb


chicken thighs @ $1.29/lb


chef boyardee @ $0.75/can


or eveyone's favorite... top ramen @ $0.10/pk


CHEAP ENTERTAINMENT.

gossiping


making fun of people


get drunk off this shit

people who need a job more than i do.

this sad, old lady.



carrot top.



her.

guess i'm not the only one...

fact or fiction: when you send things via email from los angeles they end up in madagascar through some unknown tunnel that travels through the center of the earth?



dust, mop, cook, supermarket? she'll be your video girl.




she's right. no one wants a fat prostitute.

its been 5 months

since my initial encounter of the economic crisis that is now. its been 5 months since my company "let go" of approximately 30% of its' loyal loving slaves. of the 30 of us that have been in touch since then, but 1 has found a new calling. SAD.

this morning on cnn this reporter had a map that showed the number of new jobs available for every 1000 unemployed human. northern california had appx. 2.5 / 1000. SUPER SAD.

i literally apply online to at least 15 positions a day. that's m-f @ 15/day = 75 jobs per week @ 5 months (20 weeks) = 1500 applications/resumes sent out so far. I STILL HAVE NO JOB. landed a couple interviews but i guess they hated me.

i've been busting my broke ass trying to land ANY job (that doesn't require me to work on the weekends), lowering my expectations, applying for positions that i was too good for 2 years ago but have to resort to now "because of the economy".

maybe its my attitude, maybe they sense that i'm a fucking genius and will eventually end up finding a way to somehow take their (the person thats interviewing me) job and then make it a point to demean them publicly the way that they have shunned me.

staffing agencies are the best, because you get to walk into their office and are able to see and compete against the other candidates. what do i mean??? when you register with a staffing agency, they usually book interviews with different people about 15 mins apart. these interviews are short and to the point, they ask you what you can and cannot do; straight up. THEN they make you take a bunch of tests that are supposed to gauge your competency with specific computer applications, the usual being ms office and typing. these tests are given to you in a room that is set up with 5 or 6 work stations, with other applicants testing beside you.

THIS WAS THE FUN PART, for me at least. i have no problem ace-ing any of the tests, the alloted time is 2 hours, i finish in 10 mins. i get curious as to what is taking these other people so damn long. oh hey, here's the problem, THEY CAN'T FUCKING READ!

judging by my findings, i assume that i will be the staffing agency's star candidate and that i will be presented with a platter of available jobs of my choice. SLAP BANG WHAM! this is not the case. instead i get this -- "we're sorry, we currently do not have any positions tailored for your skill set; we will let you know if anything arises." -- WTF?

tsk tsk. still broke as shit.